We know that oftentimes sex, porn and masturbation addiction can be lumped together but there are distinct differences between the three. It’s important to understand the difference so that you know what steps to take to be able to kick your behavioral addiction for good. 

Masturbation

Masturbation addiction is being addicted to masturbating. As teens go through puberty their sex drive is through the roof but even with that being said, most young people can still exhibit some sort of self control. But what happens when the drive to masturbate becomes so much that you literally feel you can’t control it? Well, that could be a problem. 

Let’s be clear though, masturbation is natural and when people masturbate in their own privacy and it doesn’t affect their mental health, personal or professional relationships, or anyone else, it’s generally deemed as an okay thing to do barring any religious beliefs. I’m not here to talk about moral or religious obligations as your relationship with your higher power and culture is unique to you and your culture. 

What I can say though is if you are choosing to masturbate rather than doing normal activities like hanging out with friends, family, enjoying your hobbies, and so on, then it’s time to take a deeper look into the situation. And unhealthy relationship with masturbation is something to be concerned about especially if there is a lack of control. Other behaviors to look out for is if you are masturbating in places you know deep down are concerning like anywhere in public or running off the restroom during a party, and so on. If it’s affecting your life or mental health you should take it seriously. For example, if you are feeling sad or guilty after you masturbate, masturbate to cope with negative emotions, or if it’s an obsessive compulsive thought then there’s a problem. 

Sex

Sex addiction is a bit different as it’s the obsession with having sexual intercourse with another person. But like masturbation addiction, there are certain signs to look out for such as whether or not it’s affecting your life or causing relationship issues, whether your thoughts and behaviors are obsessive or compulsive and so on. 

Like masturbation addiction, when you have an addiction to sex it’s something that’s always on your mind. But the sexual activity itself is quite different and always involves another person. So if you are thinking about it and also acting on it then that’s a cause for concern. The bigger issues though with sex addiction is that there’s a higher chance of hurting someone else especially if you have the inability to stop the urges. It’s like being addicted to heroin and robbing someone for their stash. Sex lives, the sexual experience  and intimate relationships can be ruined. Nobody goes into this behavioral addiction with the intent to hurt others, the compulsion and obsession can often be too much to handle. 

People who suffer from sexual addiction want to have sex often, sometimes multiple times per day and because it’s not possible to find a partner who shares the same desire those with sex addiction often have multiple partners or pay for sex. Those with a sexual behavior disorder may also experience sexual fantasies or repetitive behaviors with the obsessive thoughts of wanting to act on those fantasies. And like masturbation addiction there may be a feeling of loss of control followed by guilt, remorse, or negative consequences  after the sexual act is performed. 

Porn

Porn addiction is the addiction to watching pornographic material whether or not masturbation or sex is included. Internet pornography addiction is very common and people who struggle with porn also report feeling a loss of control. People who have an addiction to porn may spend hours and hours watching porn. The time consumption alone can cause later distress. Pornography addiction is basically like drug abuse in that it causes changes in your brain chemistry. Your brain becomes accustomed to getting pleasure from watching pornographic material and images of people having sex. When you start to watch pornography, your brain gets used to the high that comes from viewing sexual images. As time goes by, you begin to crave that feeling over and over again.

There are many signs of porn addiction. Symptoms of porn addiction vary but if porn is causing relationship issues then it’s a problem. If the consumption of pornography results in excessive porn watching, then it’s problem. If the material or content is problematic porn, meaning, unethical or immoral, then that’s an issue too. Problematic pornography is very grey but the porn industry has figured out how to get into people’s brains to cause excessive porn watching. Pornography is just addictive as an addictive substance like heroin and cocaine and the effects of porn addiction can be catastrophic. Your relationship with porn is a personal one and only you will know if it’s effecting your real life. Treatment for porn isn’t easy either. 

If you masturbate to porn does that mean you have both a masturbation and porn addiction? Not necessarily. I’ve had a lot of students in my porn class think they have a masturbation addiction and it turns out they actually don’t. If a person can only masturbate to porn then it’s likely a porn addiction. You would just ask yourself, if I didn’t have porn on would I be able to get an aroused, masturbate and climax without thinking or watching porn? If the answer is yes, then perhaps it’s a masturbation addiction and not a porn addiction. You see these are two very different and the way to kick them can be quite different. A pornography addictive person watches porn and is only able to masturbate and climax to those images. Masturbation addiction is the compulsion to masturbate anytime, anywhere which may or may not include watching porn. 

Okay so can you have more than one? Yes! Can you have all three? Yes. Let’s talk about that. 

Sex, Porn and Masturbation Addiction

Someone who struggles with both sex and masturbation addiction may suffer from one on a larger scale than the other. For example, if someone is addicted to sex, their first choice would be to have sexual intercourse with another person. But what if there is no other person to have sex with at a specific time? Someone who is addicted to just sex would have no choice but to move on or continue to search for someone to have sex and would generally not masturbate. But if someone was addicted to both sex and masturbation addiction they may search for sex first and if that wasn’t an option they would masturbate. For those who are addicted to all three there is generally a scale meaning first choice, second choice and third choice. If one of the three: sex, porn or masturbation doesn’t enter the mind regularly and you don’t act on those when you can’t partake in another one then you probably aren’t addicted to that one. 

What Is Sexual Compulsivity?

Sexual compulsivity means that you find yourself doing things sexually that you wouldn’t normally do. This could mean anything from looking up information about sex online, reading erotica, buying sex toys, talking about sex. All of these are examples of sexual compulsivity. You might also notice that you become preoccupied with thoughts about sex. These thoughts usually involve fantasies about sexual acts that you’d never actually engage in. They often include ideas about sex with strangers or animals. 

Symptoms of sexual behaviors vary from person to person and the impact can be quite similar to a substance addiction. The brain activity is similar in that it releases dopamine in the same way it does when someone partakes in an addictive behavior such as drinking alcohol or doing drugs. People who struggle with an alcohol addiction or drugs will also suffer in their daily life and romantic relationships. While none of these addictions are listed specifically as a mental health disorder they are under the same umbrella as other behavior addictions such as gambling addiction and food. The experiences may be similar in nature but the user approach to treatment is vastly different. 

So what I want you to be able to do now is to be real with yourself and take some time to think about what hypersexual disorder it is that you struggle with and what your symptoms are. Again it can be one, two or all three. If it’s more than one, which one is your more dominant addiction? 

The reason this is important is so that as you progress through recovery you know what to focus on and what not to waste your time with. For example, if you struggle with porn and sex addiction you don’t really need to know how to stop a masturbation addiction. 

But what is important, is if you struggle with more than one that you focus on both of them equally. You don’t want to focus on kicking one addiction but still having another. It’s not going to help you in the long run. The goal of this is for you to be able to train yourself to get back to your brain’s baseline; meaning where it was before your addiction started so that you can have a healthy happy relationship with yourself and feel good about your sexual behaviors. 

Mental Health 

Oftentimes people who come to CSPMA for help also have mental health issues and if that’s the case, it’s very important to treat both your mental health and addiction at the same time. Mental health conditions don’t go away on their own. Not treating your mental health can have negative effects which makes it even more difficult to treat sex, porn or masturbation addiction especially if there is sexual abuse or past traum involved. Mental health issues can range from anxiety, to depression or mood disorders such as bipolar disorder. A lot of people who struggle with addiction also struggle with impulse control disorder. Not everyone who struggles with sex, porn or masturbation has a history of sexual abuse, in fact, most don’t, but if you do, it’s very important to talk to a healthcare professional. 

There are many therapies out there to help a sex and porn addict. While these addictions are not technically a mental disorder, they do cause the same negative experiences and effects as anyone who struggles with a substance use disorder. Sometimes the answer is to see a medical professional or mental health professional while other times people can do this on their own. CSPMA is here to provide a middle ground for those who don’t want to seek treatment in person but may need a little guidance. We offer an alternative to masturbation, sex and porn addiction treatment. In person therapies come with time constraints and are sometimes just embarrassing. With CPSMA you can do it all online, from the comfort of your own home. The content of our courses is productive and high quality and will help you improve your quality of life and sexual relationship with yourself.