My Life

Before we get started I want to talk about something you might all be wondering. What makes me qualified to teach a sex, porn, and masturbation addiction course? I can list my education credentials or talk about my life experiences, sure, but what makes me even more qualified is that I take the information I get from my clients and I adapt. All the time. I change things, I update my courses often, I ask for feedback and I take a very human approach.

Sexual Addictions

In my last blog, I told you about Rob and how I was unable to uncover his sex addiction while he was in court mandated alcohol treatment. But it wasn’t just Rob. You see, I’ve been working in the addiction and recovery field for years and some people did try to get help for their porn or sex addiction but when they were in group they mostly felt shamed and embarrassed and I know this because they would tell me in my one on one sessions. I found it fascinating that my clients were okay sharing about their conditions or life struggles with alcohol or other substances but when it came to sexual impulses like porn, masturbation or sex, it was a no go. My clients felt judged and less than. They told me they felt like other people would look at them and make comments about how they wished they were just addicted to sex or porn and how easy that must be compared to heroin or alcohol.

Behavioral Therapy

No matter how comfortable I tried to make the time in group sessions, my clients would not budge. So I started asking questions about what they felt they needed in order to succeed. What kind of support would be best and the answers varied from being able to stay anonymous to interacting with others who had similar struggles. Some wanted therapy with a mental health professional who specializes in behavioral addictions or a sex therapist and others wanted medication. There is no one right or wrong path to getting help. 

Sexual Behavior

When I started LiveRehab.com which offers people who struggle with alcohol or a substance use disorder a way to get support from home, in an online setting, I knew it was going to be important to have a course that focused on porn addiction. Little did I know, that would be my most successful course. And while porn addiction is, and always will be, an addiction that people struggle with, it became clear that sometimes the addiction is more than just being addicted to porn. Sometimes people struggle with porn addiction, sex addiction, and/or masturbation addiction.

Symptoms of Sex Addiction

There are clear differences between the three but it’s clear that there are common links between them. So you may be someone who struggles with just porn, sex, or masturbation or someone who struggles with two of three. For example you could struggle with sex and porn,  porn and masturbation,  sex and masturbation or all three. Regardless, most people here experience a persistent pattern of failure over a period of time that cause them to have risky sexual practices. Like everything related to a sexual disorder there’s a spectrum and your sexual addiction is unique to you.

Treatment for Sex Addiction

Here at CSPMA we take a deep dive into the differences and similarities of each sexual behavior and then sort through the emotional tolls each sexual behavior has by looking at negative consequences, working through guilt and understanding family dynamics. This means working through trauma, defining co-occurring disorders and understanding adverse consequences. It’s important for people to know the root cause of their sexual behavior disorder and I am here to help guide everyone through that as well as helping people understand how their childhood experiences could be affecting them. We tackle the difficult emotional barriers people carry. The approach I use when working with clients who struggle with a sexual behavior disorder is the bio-psychosocial model. This means, we are going to focus the mind and body as a whole; a holistic approach. This includes taking care of your physical health, your mental health, having healthy relationships and very specific sexual behavior related topics such as setting a quit date for porn, what sexual intercourse should feel like and how to manage triggers. I also give my clients a specific plan to follow for the first 30 days and leave them with the tools they need to focus on long-term recovery so that they can be free from this forever. 

Mental Health Disorder 

This program isn’t just about kicking a sexual addiction. This is a complete lifestyle change. A formal diagnosis is not necessary to be here and an official diagnosis is not something you need to have it you want help with your sexual impulses. Some people may struggle with a mental disorder and that’s okay. You can still be here, I just advise my clients to check in with a medical professional if they feel they need additional support. For example, anyone who struggles with a mental health disorder, mental health condition or mood disorder such as  bipolar disorder, anxiety, depression, should talk to a healthcare professional in addition to taking this course. Anyone with a medical condition should also talk to their doctor to make sure their condition or medication is not causing them to have certain sexual impulses or thoughts. 

People with Sex Addiction

What you need to succeed here at CSPMA is the desire to change. There are many factors that contribute to hypersexual behavior, hypersexual disorder and sexual desires and we understand that. People with sex addiction will be able to understand patterns that contribute to their moral judgments. With this tailored approach my clients have stated that their quality of life, just after a few short months, has drastically improved. With an extended period of abstinence, my clients have reported that they feel they are back to their old selves and are able to have healthy and happy sexual relations. The concept of sex addiction is nuanced. Unlike substance addiction, substance use disorders or drug addiction, the goal isn’t to never have sex again. The goal is to be able to have sex in a healthy way. Sex addiction is a psychological disorder but there doesn’t have a label attached to it. A clinical diagnosis does not mean you will achieve recovery. Your treatment plan is something that should be unique to you.