Welcome to our first blog! I hope that you will find our site helpful. If you are here, you, or someone you love is likely struggling with sex addiction, porn or masturbation addiction.

Life

Imagine waking up each day not feeling a compulsion to seek a sexual pleasure.  Imagine being able to have sexual intercourse with the person you love not because you are feeling a compulsion but because you are feeling love. Being able to focus on what feels good emotionally, physically, and socially without the need for any sort of sexual behavior is what The Center for Sex, Porn and Masturbation Addiction, CSPMA,  has planned for you. It’s already difficult to navigate this life when there are so many sexual triggers in your face constantly; mostly coming from a device you rely on day in and day out; your phone. It’s understandable and expected that you will first feel overwhelmed, scared and even frustrated as everything you have tried thus far hasn’t worked. I want to help you work through this journey by focusing on your overall health; physically, mentally and socially so that your quality of life can be improved. 

People with Sex Addiction

When I was working in a drug and alcohol out-patient center I had a client that was court ordered to attend treatment due to a DUI he received. The program was a combination of group therapy and individual counseling. I could tell that during group therapy he was having a hard time relating to the others and while talking to him during our counseling sessions he mentioned that he didn’t feel he fit in as he didn’t feel like he had an alcohol problem. We talked through his past and there were some concerns and red flags I noted but I mostly let him take the lead at first. One of the things I like to do is have my client talk to me about the day leading up to their DUI and everything that happened from the time they woke up to the time they were arrested. It’s difficult for people to be completely honest so this isn’t something I do right away. It takes time to build rapport and trust. I do this activity somewhere in the middle of the program in hopes that they will feel comfortable enough to be completely honest.

Sexual Behavior

So my client, Rob, was sitting in my office that day, saying he was bored, he wasn’t an alcoholic and this was all a waste of time. I felt like I had built some solid rapport with him so I asked him to describe his day and to not leave a single detail out. He started off by telling me he woke up around noon, watched some porn, masturbated but did not ejaculate as he was really hoping to hook up with a girl. It was a Saturday and he just wanted to “get some.” So from the afternoon to early evening he spent his day calling every girl he knew, only to be rejected which made him feel really down and low but the compulsion (my word here, not his) did not stop. Around 7 pm he had exhausted his contacts and decided to hire a sex worker from a site he was familiar with. This wasn’t his first time hiring a sex worker but in his words he only used them as a last resort and in his opinion this was not a problem. They met up at a hotel, had a few drinks, had sex, had another drink before heading home and that’s when he was pulled over and arrested for a DUI.

Behavioral Therapy

The situation leading up to the DUI, coupled with stories from his past that we had been uncovering slowly each session lead me to believe that he was suffering from a sexual addiction. We were able to uncover a lot using behavioral therapy and we stomped out the feelings of guilt and shame he was experiencing due to his desire to constantly want to have sex and his sexual behavior that ultimately lead to adverse consequences. While there are many factors that played a role in his journey, there was a persistent pattern that was affecting his personal relationships. Over a period of time working with me and focusing on his sexual behavior rather than the alcohol addiction that was not there, he was able to start to see the cloud drift away while he focused on his family,  personal relationships and addictive behavioral pattern.

Treatment for Sex Addiction or Hypersexual Disorder

I had a few clients after Rob that also suffered from various sex addictions; sex, porn and masturbation and unwanted sexual behavior, and that’s when I decided to dig deeper into this problem and come up with a solution to help those who are suffering. I am the owner of LiveRehab.com and SoberFromHome.com which help people who struggle with drug addiction, a substance use disorder or substance addiction obtain sobriety from drugs and alcohol from home and also the owner here at CSPMA. I have spent countless hours designing and implementing strategies and techniques to help people with their sex addictions, working with clients and incorporating their feedback directly.

Symptoms of Sex Addiction

Symptoms of sex addiction are nuanced and not the same for everyone. People with sex addiction may or may not be addiction to porn and masturbation which is why it’s important to know the difference. No matter what is you struggle with, a pattern of failure, lack of moral judgments and constant sexual desires is often what typically leads my students here. 

Can my Addiction to Sex be Cured?

The road to recovery isn’t easy but it’s worth it. My clients often check in with me from time to time to let me know how they are doing. Some update me on their life and some just need encouragement. One of my students who took an online course I designed updated me two years later letting me know that he was able to fix his relationship with his wife and they are expecting their first child. He went on to say how amazing his journey has been as he no longer has this dark cloud hovering over him and pressure to hide things constantly. He lost 40 pounds, plays rugby and is busy getting the nursery ready for his daughter’s arrival. It’s updates like these that keep me going as well. I want to be able to reach as many people as possible so they too know that life on the other side is worth it.

Is Masturbation or Porn Addiction a Sexual Addiction as well?

When you take this course you will learn the difference between sex, porn and masturbation addiction and how they are unique on their own but similar in nature and often overlap. You will learn about the Sobriety Success Method which is a holistic approach that I created specifically to help people with any addiction to kick that addiction from home. The Sobriety Success Method focuses on your physical health, psychological health, social circles and then the fourth part is adapted to the specific addiction you struggle with; at CSPMA it’s sex, porn and/or masturbation. I will give you all of the tools you will need to quit your addiction for good.

My name is Denise and I have an extensive background in the addiction and recovery field. My Associates Degree is in Behavioral Health/Chemical Dependency, my Bachelor’s degree is in counseling with an emphasis on addiction, chemical dependency and substance abuse and my Master’s degree is in Psychology. I know that none of that really matters though when it comes to what works and what doesn’t and that’s why I broke free from working in traditional rehab facilities that charge vulnerable people tens of thousands of dollars for something that produces a poor outcome (just look up relapse rates and you will see those numbers are not good.) Instead, I wanted to be able to take what I knew and what I have learned from real people, like you, and create a program that tailors specifically to individual needs.

I’m glad you are here. It takes a lot of courage and strength to take a leap like this. There will be times where you will feel overwhelmed when taking this course and when that happens I encourage you to pause, take a breath, pause the course, and give yourself permission to process what you learn. But please don’t give up. Set a timer for yourself; 1 hour, 1 day, 3 days, whatever you need but please come back to the course and finish it through to the end. The magic cannot happen unless you finish.

Is Professional Treatment or Medication Necessary?

Traditional rehab as treatment for sex addiction isn’t always the best approach and that’s why CSPMA is so helpful for anyone who has a diagnosed or undiagnosed sexual disorder, anyone who is concerned about their sexual behavior or has suffered negative consequences from sexual impulses. An official diagnosis is not necessary for you to take this course. Many students here do not have a diagnosis but are concerned or believe they have a sex or porn addiction.  Do not think of masturbation, sex or porn addiction as a negative condition or a mental disorder. If you are struggling with sexual impulses it’s not your fault, but you can overcome this. While some people do need to see a mental health professional or receive medications for their hypersexual behavior or hypersexual disorder this is not the case for everyone. It is difficult to find a medical professional that is an expert in behavioral addictions so that is why I want CSPMA to be accessible to anyone that struggles with a sexual behavior disorder. 

Do you have a mental health disorder?

This course can also be used in conjunction with traditional therapy. Sometimes my students do have a clinical diagnosis for a mental health condition or psychological disorders such as anxiety, depression, a mood disorder like bipolar disorder, etc. and if that’s the case for you it’s important that you continue to receive care while taking this course. A sexual behavior disorder can only be kicked if your treatment plan includes treating your sexual addiction as well as any mental health disorder or medical conditions at the same time.